I'm still breathing
by queental
Summary: Hey douchebag,don't you know this is private property and not only are you trespassing,but your breaking the treaty"I hissed at him."they broke the treaty first and destroyed my house,filthy dogs"he snaped."Victoria destroyed your house,we watched".J/B
1. Chapter 1

A/N. I just want to say, that this is my first fan fiction story. So please be nice. Constructive criticism is welcomed and so Is your advice. Reviews always help. Disclaimer- Stephanie Meyer owns twilight, I own nothing.

Bella

It's almost as if everything that happened in my life was to bring me back to the point and people that first introduced me to the mythical world that I now live in.

After the Cullen's made their exit out of my life, I lived in my depression. It consumed me and I'm embarrassed to say that I lost my will to live. Who in their right mind throws their life away because their boyfriend brakes up with them? Jacob once said that it happened that way because I love from my soul which is deeper than loving someone from your heart and so when they left it broke my heart, damaged my soul and took away my trust.

Jacob and I were best friends for years and still are. We dated, broke up twice, fought like cats and dogs .Well technically human and were-wolf and our relationship even survived an imprint. And still we were there for each other. He told me he would never leave me and he would always be in my life and he kept that promise.

Jake and I started dating and year after I graduated high school. I didn't want to go to college. I wanted to hang out in La Push and wait for Jake to finish school so we can start our lives together. But Charlie wanted me to go out and see the world and travel and have college life experiences as he liked to call it. He thought that Jake and I were spending too much time together and didn't want me to get too depended on him. Jake was and will always be my sun. He pulled me out the darkness and taught me how to love and trust again .The wolfs are my family for eternity. When Jake and I broke up the first time. He cried…..like a lot. It broke my heart to cause him pain, but I was going to leave to get those college experiences Cha-Dad was talking about and I thought that Jake was too young to settle for someone like me .I believed he deserved better and I was trying to be that for him and myself. After saying goodbye and kissing Jake and telling him ill see him soon, I got in my car (a ford f150 that dad and my mom got for me as a graduation present) and took off towards Seattle. I didn't even make to the sign that says "You are now leaving Forks, come back soon" before I did a u-turn and drove straight to Jake's house. He was outside pulling me out the car before I even put the damn thing in park.

We spent that year laughing, talking and making love to each other. Charlie and Jake's dad Billy just figured we would get married and start a family as soon as we were able. But all good things must come to and end, well at least for me. Because not one week after Jake's graduation, he imprinted.

Leah was the first one to come to my house to console me and stated that she too is a member of The I Hate Imprinting Club". We spend night after night berating men and binge eating all kinds of junk food until we.... no, I got sick. Leah had a whole program for getting over imprinting. I guess she developed it after what happened with her and Sam. Step one was already complete. Step two was harder, since it was avoidance. Which was not happening because Jake was stalking me and howling and crying in the woods near my house every night. I finally had to call one of the guys to take him away after he broke into my room to confess his undying love and vow to never give in to his imprint. I was sitting up in my bed frightened that he would phase and wake up Charlie.

"Jake you need to leave; I told you that I don't want to see you." I hissed at him .He looked so hurt and broken, but I needed time to get over him and this whole situation. And he was not respecting my space.

"Bella I love you and I don't care what you say I am never giving you up. I love you more than my own life, I promise you Bells .I will never give in to the imprint. Never."

After taking a deep breath I looked at him and I knew that he met every word. But I also knew that fighting the pull of his imprint was killing him. He was miserable and it was mostly my fault. He's my best friend , my sun and being away from me was hurting him just like it was hurting me .I never wanted to give him up ,but I felt that I had no choice. After that imprint happened he said that he would never see her again.

I mean there we were in the emergency room again after one of my many slip and fall episodes and here comes this random candy striper bitch and BOOM ,he imprints .Of course I blamed myself for days before me and Leah started plotting that candy striper bitch's murder. Sam saw it all in Leah's head and called a pack meeting. I told him that I was not going to go and he can take his Alpha voice and shove it. I was not a wolf. So, he kidnapped me and made me attend. Now we were not really going to kill her, though I was interested to know if the imprint would matter if the bitch was in fact dead. But while bring lectured by Sam and Emily with Leah at my side snarling and growing every time Emily walked into the room I noticed that Jake looked torn and utterly defeated ,like maybe he wanted to protect her but kept changing his mind and wanted to maybe kill her too. This is why I decide to break up with him, so he could have the bitch. I hated seeing him like that and if one of us deserves to be happy it's him.

"Jake, please just go. I need time to get over you okay. I need some fucking space. How am I suppose to move forward from this if you won't let me" by this time the tears were already rolling down my cheeks. Because I knew it was only a matter of time before he did give in to her and no matter how many promises he made they were about to be broken. Leah, who has become my informant, told me that he went back to the hospital to learn the bitchs name and was following her home at night to make sure she got there safe. How convenient for him since he was doing the same with me. I wonder how he would go about if we did work the same shift. He was lucky, because the receptionist down at the station where Charlie worked as the chief of police quit and I wanted to leave Newton Outfitters, so Charlie gave me the job.

"Bells you don't need to move forward. I'm right here and am not going anywhere. I love you, no matter what and I......." Embry had his hand over Jake mouth as Jake was about to start his speech. Part of me was interested in what he was going to say, but the other part was happy that Embry pulled him out the window. Jake phased before he hit the ground and attacked Embry. They were fighting and Jake was sloppy and off his game. Embry pushed him deeper into the woods and they where gone.

I didn't sleep that night; I really wasn't sleeping any night. I realized that the "I hate imprinting" Leah plan sucked and was ruining my life. So I hopped in my truck

and drove straight to Jakes. He was not there, but Billy was and he was very happy to see me. He also decided that this was the time to give me advice. Which was?

'You kids need to get your shit together' and then he left to go fishing with my dad. Jake came home soon after Billy left. When he saw me, he fell to his knees with his arms around my waist and refused to let go. We cried together for hours. I told him that I loved him and that I wanted to be his best friend again and that I knew that the imprint could happen at any moment but I wanted to take a chance on him and I did. And would do it again in a heart beat. I told him to give in to the imprint because I wanted him to have his happily ever after, even if all I got to do was watch. He finally let go of the breath he seemed to be holding. He told me that he loves me and will in anyway he could.

Three months later and Alexis Toscano was integrated into the pack as Jakes imprint. Jake said that he was taking it slow and that they were only friends. She was

......nice. I mean what do say about a chick that stole your man with just one look. Leah hated her immediately, at first I thought it was because we were best friends

soon to be sisters, because my dad was dating her mom, but I soon realized it was because she reminded her of Emily. Yes, the bitch candy striper named Alexis

was...nice and always smiling and bring cookies for the guys and helping Emily cook when they came in from patrol. It was disgusting, but I was trying to be supportive.

for Jake. Leah told me I was being a pussy and decided she would be a bitch for me. I explained to her that the only woman I wanted to be a bitch to was Victoria

considering she was trying to end me. Permenantly! Leah laughed and said that the leech would not get anywhere near me.

Yeah right!


	2. Chapter 2

Months pasted and Victoria still had not given up. I felt smothered by the pack, they were always with me. I threw a major fit when after spending the day shopping

for an engagement present for my dad and Sue.

Quil thought it was necessary to follow me into the bathroom. I wanted to kill him, but he still insisted and only relented when I told him I would sing the whole time so he new I was safe.

One week, two days after my 21st birthday, Victoria showed up for me. I was in bed reading when I heard noise outside. When I looked out my window, I saw what

seemed to be Jared getting thrown into a tree only to not get up again. Lucky for me Charlie was not home. He spent all his time in La Push and Leah and I were the only ones who stayed and our house and she was at work.

I grabbed my car keys, put on my chucks and crept down was strangely quite, all the suspense was killing me and I hope she would put me out of my misery already. After crawling on my knees through the kitchen I heard someone yell." Bella run" I think it was Paul. But that was all it took to give me the courage to make it to the fucking truck. I was on the highway headed to La Push. Before something slammed into me. The truck slid off the road and into the woods. I couldn't see where I was going, but I kept driving anyway. A moment later I heard something jump into the bed of the truck. I glanced back only to see a streak of red.

I hit the brakes and the bitch flew, but since I was not paying attention it hit a tree and the car would not start. My head was killing me and as I was getting out the car to make a

run for it I see two wolves. It could have been Sam and Paul and they were running on the right side of me. So I decide to go left. As I'm running I realize that I am close to the cliffs, theres a growling and howling not too far from me.

The fight was more near to me than I thought. When I turned to look at where the noise was coming from I see Victoria running towards me with Jake right behind her and he's limping. The injury has slowed him down, there's no way he'll get to her in time and there's no where for me to go, so I do the only that makes sense and start heading for the edge of the cliffs. Its closer to winter and the water looks like its freezing. I jump and as I'm in the air I hear a woman scream out.

"Nooooooo".

But the only woman that's there is Victoria. Maybe Jake did get to her and their tearing her to pieces. I hit the water and it is freezing .I can't even stay above because the

current is so strong its pulling me under. I tried to fight it but all I'm doing is exhausting myself. My eyes are burning from the cold salt waters and my arms hurt and

I can't fight anymore. As I'm under the water I pass out but I hear a voice, telling me that I was not going to die. That I was going to live one way or the other. And this person that sounded like a woman was beating on my

chest. Water pooled in my mouth and as I felt it coming up my throat was burning from the salt. I opened my eyes to see Vic-fucking-toria. She smiled at me, before she leaned forward and brought her teeth to my neck. The burning started immediately. I felt it in my neck before it started to spread. I couldn't form any coherent thoughts beyond the burning. It was a feeling like nothing I've ever felt it was as if someone, poured cold water on me and then threw me in a volcano filled with lava.

"Oh my god, Bella .....Bella...please oh please" It was Jake and he sounded worried and was mumbling words I didn't understand.

"Ah...fuck, she's fucking bit….that bitch fucking bit her, she changing. What are we gonna do?" Changing? changing into what. Oh fuck. I'm going to be a vampire. She

didn't kill me. Why didn't she kill me? Oh shit, the wolves are going to kill me. Ill be a newborn, ill never see Jake, Leah or my parents again. That bitch. She wants me to

suffer through this before she comes back to kill me. The burn, it was everywhere .I could hear myself screaming. Dear god, I want them to kill me.

I don't know how long I burned for, but when I opened my eyes Leah was standing over me.

"Hey bitch, your eyes look scary as fuck" she teased. I sat up from whatever floor I was laying on. Leah smelt fuck awful and I wiggled my nose in protest of that

shit.

"Geez, Leah you smell like hot garbage and ass" she laughed

" Well you don't smell so good yourself Bells, I going against all my basic instincts here by not killing you for smelling like" she started to sniff me .gasping and

shaking her head away from me." like a fucking cotton candy machine that was filled with perfume that expired in the early nineteen hundreds. That shit smells

rotten and sweet, too sweet. It's just wrong. You smell wrong" and she looked disgusted.

My eyes adjusted to the room. I could hear everything. Down to her heart beat

which I no longer had. My throat was starting to feel uncomfortable .Leah grabbed my hand as I start to scratch the damn thing.

"Hey don't do that, your nails are cutting through your skin." Leah said .Looking freaked and kind off grossed out .

" Sorry, It's burning like a muthafucka"she giggled at me.

"It's good you didn't loose your sense of humor. I thought newborns were supposed to be blood crazed and uncontrolled, but here you are proving everyone wrong

as usual. I guess we should go out for a hunt. Jake is outside patrolling, making sure there aren't any humans near by." good, I didn't want to kill any humans.

"Okay, what happened anyway? Did you guys find Victoria" I hoped that they did. I hoped that they ripped her fucking head off.

When were walking out of what seemed to be the… Cullen house? Eww. I would have rather been left in the fucking woods, than have to be in this god damn house. I made a mental note to myself to come back a break everything .Doors, walls, windows, desks. Especially Carlisle's and anything of value. I was a vampire now, so I wouldn't get hurt and that thought made me smile.

"One thing at a time Bella, we will talk about everything after Jake and I take you hunting" She smiled at me, but it seemed forced. Like that fake smile she

gives to Emily.

We were well into the woods, when Jake trotted up to us in his wolf form. He looked sad and started whining as soon as he saw me.

"What the Fuck Leah! tell me what's going on." Jake was still crying and Leah was lost in her head .Probably trying to figure out what to say to me.

"Bella" she said sadly .She couldn't even look me in the eye." I don't know how to say this. But we tracked the red headed bitch all the way to fucking ......to fucking

Canada, before we lost her. Sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, Bells. The bitch is like a fucking ninja or something. Jake and I wanted to continue the search for her, but

we had to come back, because.....well because....ohm...uhm." she was stuttering and I wanted to know what the fuck happened.

"BECAUSE WHAT?" I was getting angry by the second. She looked down at Jake for help and he looked away.

"Fine asshole, don't help me." she growled while kind of trying to kick him.' Listen Bella, Wee had to come back because Sam was.....well he was gonna kill

after Jake found you bitten, we didn't know where to take you. So we brought you to the Cullen house, cause their gone and their house is secluded and far from

any humans. We left Seth in charge of taking care of you. I mean you're our sister and we would rather have you a leech than not have you at all and Jake agrees. So when Sam that fucking asshole came by with Paul at his side talking about how you need to die because.....well they didn't want a newborn running around in forks and he doubted that Jake could kill you himself. We ran back as fast as we could. And Jake, Seth, Embry and I are no longer in Sam's pack .We left and Jake is our alpha." she exhaled the breath she was holding, finally looking into my eyes. Sam wanted me dead and I guess so did the other wolves.

"Don't worry Bella, if he comes anywhere near the treaty line I will kick his ass, I promise" and she was serious, I think she secretly wanted him to come, just to give

her a reason.

I fell down on my knees petting Jake. Running my hands through his fur. He is soft; it was always a comfort to do this .He had his head in my lap for thirty three seconds

before Leah pushed him off.

"Jake ,this is not the time for her to be petting and coddling you so you can feel better. She was just turned into a god damn leech. She's thirsty and we need to be their for her. So get up and stop whining like a bitch, we need to take her hunting for deer and shit." she hissed, before running behind a tree to phase.

"Jake, it's not your fault. You know I don't blame you for what happened, I was going to die anyway. She pulled me out of the water after I had died Jake, she gave me

CPR, but I think she changed me on purpose. I guess maybe she'll come back to finish job.....I mean who knows, she crazy" and she was. The more I thought about, the

more I wanted to kill her. And as soon as I get over this newborn thing I was going to do just that.

After practically slaughtering the entire deer and elk population we went back to the Cullen house. Seth and Embry were sitting on the steps looking nervous and sad.

I felt great; I wished everyone would stop with the sad looks. But I doubt they could help, it was not a happy occasion and I was their, now mortal enemy. But I

couldn't help but be okay with being a vampire. I mean it was what I wanted not too long ago. Off course I wanted to be with the Cullen's at first but they were gone and

good ridden to them all. I really was not happy when I found out about the wolves. I mean Jake and Leah have immortality and I was envious of that fact. I mean did

no one I associated with be human. But now should they decide to phase for life I would have them forever. And if they decide not to? Well I would be alone, but I don't

want to think about that.

Leah walked into the room and got down to business, she said that they hid my car from Charlie and that Jake was working on it. That Charlie was worried about

me after me not returning his calls and that Sam and Paul tried to steal the car to fake my death. Apparently Leah and Jake went to the tribal elders to get permission

to let Charlie in on the secret. It only made sense. He was marrying an elder. His step-children were were-wolfs and his only daughter is a vampire. Plus the vamp

bitch Victoria was still out there and could come back at anytime to seek out her twisted revenge. For the time being, Leah told Charlie I was sick with the flu and

that he shouldn't come by the house because the shit was contagious. He asked that I call him when I felt better. Jake and the rest of the pack was going to meet

with the elders in the morning for their decision.

"Jake what if they say no? What if they ask me to leave, what am I going to do". I was panicked. I knew that Jake and Leah would take care of my dad, but it would

hurt me to know that I would have to fake my death and he would be morning a daughter that was alive....well not alive but not definitely dead either.

"Bella, don't worry, ill just tell him anyway. I mean...well .I'm the true alpha my word is law and ...shit...fuck them all, if they say no. But at least we have Sue on our

side and she wants him to know. I would have told him right after it happened. But the idiot Sam stopped me before I got to the house."

I was pacing across the floor .But I stopped because I knew that Jake would take care of everything. Embry looked tired, like he hadn't slept in days. All of them looked exhausted. After a few minutes they were all asleep on the floor.

The next morning, Jake and Leah left to meet the Elders. Seth and Embry went out to patroll to make sure that Sam didn't try anything. I still couldn't believe

he wanted to kill me. I thought we were friends, that I was apart of the pack family, but I guess that went out the window, when I was changed.

Leah came back after a few hours, to let me know that Jake was meeting with Charlie to tell him everything. She said they wanted me to be there, but the elders didn't want a bloodsucker on there land. Even if it was me.

Charlie was freaked out, he new there was something weird going on and has chosen to ignore it. But when Jake phased in front of him, his face paled. He didn't want to know. He tried to see me, but Leah explained to him it was not a good idea, so instead .He sent a cell phone and called me everyday. He didn't like the thought of Vic-fucking-toria out there, trying to kill everyone. So he decided to teach Leah and Sue how to protect themselves with a fire arm. Leah called to tell me, that he was crazy and she already told him that a gun wasn't going to do jack-shit when it came to a leech, but just to humor him, she made him teach her anyway.

But after she threaten Sam with the gun, Charlie took it back and gave her a lecture about how he wouldn't know how to help her, should she commit a crime of passion.

A few months later Jake and Charlie surprised me with a two bedroom cabin in the woods north of La Push. It was one story and had a roof that they painted blue.

Charlie said he sold the house in Forks, cause no one was living there. Leah invited herself to move in with me .She said It was to keep me company and that

She worries about me being out there alone, But Seth mentioned that it was really because, she walked in on Charlie and Sue doing it in the kitchen and was grossed

.

The wedding came and went in late spring. It was on first beach. I never saw my dad as happy as I did that day. Jake fought with Sam for weeks to get me permission

to attend. He finally backed off after Leah snarled, growled, stomped her feet, punched a tree and flipped him the bird.

Soon after that, I thought my control was great around humans. So I started to venture outside more. Doing little things, like grocery shopping for Leah and going into town.

One day when I was headed home. I smelled a vampire not just anyone, but that bitch Victoria. She was back. I immediately started to search for her and caught up

with her half way to Seattle. We fought and as she was charging at me, she hit what seemed to be an invisible wall and was thrown back. I was shocked, I guess I

was a shield, both mental and physical. She was a good fighter and no matter what I did I couldn't make her stay down. And no matter what she did, she could get

close to me because of my shield. Two hours and 13 trees later, she gave up.

"Urgh, I really hate you" she exclaimed, while throwing her hands in the air. I could tell she was frustrated.

"Well the feeling is mutual, itch" she perched herself on a tree across from me. Her eyes were black and vexed." I wouldn't even, be here if it weren't for you, why

couldn't you just leave me alone"? She glared at me, if only looks could kill.

"Because you needed to suffer ,like I was ,like I am .I lost my mate ,because of you and that damn preppy bastard .All he went though to kill my James and then he threw you away. So my mate dies, for nothing. In the end he didn't want you anyway." I was speechless .but she continued with her rant." Here I thought that he loved you and would destroy anything that got in the way of that. But you were just his fucking little human pet, which he killed my James over. So I came back to kill you, but then I saw you and you were a mess. I was happy about that, because at least I wasn't the only one who lost someone. But then you had to go fall in love with the one of the dogs. So I had to make sure you didn't get your happy ending, it just wasn't fair."She hissed. I absorbed everything she just said and ....I laughed so hard that my stomach started to hurt. Victoria looked pissed and was about to attack me again.

"Wait..." giggle" Wait...oh my god. Do you realize that we both hate the Cullen's? I mean ...well .I took out my anger on there house. But you have yours building up

inside you, were the only people who get hurt are you and I. Here I was all prepared for James to kill me, but they saved me. Which I'm happy for, it's not like I wanted

to die. But you were right, they left me and he didn't want me anyway. So why don't we go back to their house and you can mess it up a bit .I'll have Leah meet us there

with a can of spray paint and we can write Edward a douche and Victoria was here". she laughed god bless her. But the laughter turned into dry sobbing and it was not pretty. She looked like a broken red Sonia without her sword.

"I just miss him so much and I'm so lonely. I've never been on my own before, he was always with me. And I really do hate the Cullens, but there's too many of them, so

I can't take them on my own. Maybe....maybe, you can come with me and....and...bring the wolves and we'll annihilate that fucking family". Wow, she looked so

hopeful and determined. I was uncomfortable and shifting from one foot to the other. I was not a murderer.

'' Yeah....um, about that, ah that's not a good idea. Like I said, I let go of all that anger it was like a poison besides even if we were to annihilate that fucking family it

wouldn't bring James back." I told her sincerely .But something told me that maybe it would make her feel better to avenge him." So how about we go back and

annihilate their fucking house?'' I asked with a smile.

"No thanks" she said with a roll off her eyes, and then she ran off.

The next day, Leah barged into the house, grabbed my hand and we took of running. I asked her where we were going, but she was too busy laughing to form any kind

of response. We stopped in front of what use to be the Cullen house. The shit was destroyed beyond the looks of it you would never know how

beautiful it use to be.

I leaned over with my hands on my knees for support after seeing what was on top of that debris .It was the front door and written in what smells like animal blood was…..

"Edward is a faggot and to the rest of the Cullens, don't worry I'm not prejudice I hate you all equally "and the letter V was signed underneath .I was on the floor, trying to control my laughter.

Leah was taking pictures; she said it was in case I got mad thinking about how he abandoned me and that whenever I looked at the pictures I would feel better. When we got back to the cabin,

there was a note on the door all it said was "We love without reason and without reason we hate".

Was that an apology?


	3. Chapter 3

The summer months came and went with Jake and Alexis's relationship growing. He looked more in love every time I saw him. If I said I was happy about it I would be lying. But I wasn't exactly opposed considering the fact that she was his imprint. So I pretended to be happy for him.

Leah suggested a girls night out for herself and I .Jake begged us to take Alexis it's not that I didn't like her ,It's just that we had nothing in common except our love for Jake. But she came with us .Seeing that I couldn't get drunk and Leah has a high tolerance for it. Alexis shocked us both by agreeing to consume enough alcohol for the both of us and she got really wasted, that shit was embarrassing .Jake no longer trusted us with her. Leah didn't care and I felt bad for disappointing Jake but then decided I didn't give a fuck considering that they were now fucking and in love.

"Wow, so Jake is really gonna marry her" Leah said with an eyebrow raised. Apparently while she was out patrolling last night. Jake was going over ways to propose to Alexis with his mother's ring.

"Why wouldn't he, he loves her she's his imprint". Is Leah dense? Or is she just saying this shit to annoy me. The Jake and Bella ship sailed along time ago and I threw away my boarding pass.

"I know that, it's just.....I feel so irritated by It." and to her credit she looked it.

"Why? .... Are you like ......jealous" I asked.

"No!" she said with an attitude." It's just.....these fucking imprint wolves are so.......fuck, I can't even find a word to discribe how much I can't stand this shit. Fucking love zombies, they make me so fucking sick. Always talking or thinking about their fucking imprint. That shit is so fucking irritating and now their gonna make a fucking announcement and then they just won't shut the fuck up about it." she exclaimed, exhaling the breath she was holding.

"Breath,Le-Le" I murmured rubbing her shoulders.

"Sorry, I am happy for them, but only sometimes." she said. "Promise, that when you find a hot vamp, you won't be like them".

"If I ever do, please punch me in the face". I told her, cause on some level .I did totally hate them. They where so god damn annoying in their love that it dominated conversation most if not all the time.

Later that week, they announced their engagement, Leah was right. No one would shut up about it. Especially the bride to be, who came by our cabin to ask us to be bridesmaids in her wedding.

"What" Leah said choking on her coffee. I couldn't even look at her, she kept trying to meet my gaze, by it was not happening.

"I just know how much Jake loves you guys and we really want the both of you in the wedding" Alexis said, smiling the whole time. The girl has no common sense. Does she not notice that we don't want anything to do with this wedding, can't we just go as guests.

" Ahmmmm,Alexis .I think that what Leah is trying to say......Is that we are really flattered, that you all would want us in the wedding,uhm.....but ,we just aren't those kind of girls you know.....ah ,we just want to come for Jake". I said with the fakest smile I could muster.

"And you of course" Leah chimed I nodded my head .Way too fucking much.

"Oh please you guys, Emily is helping with everything and I don't have many friends that I'm close with" she said, did she not know that she wasn't close with us either?

God can this conversation get anymore awkward, how do you tell the girl your ex-boyfriend is about to marry to fuck off without hurting her feelings.

"I think....ow" I hissed, when Leah fucking kicked me and gave me a hard look. (We) she mouthed to me. "We.....just want your day to be perfect and It won't if I'm.....we are in the wedding it's just not right and I'm Jakes ex, how would that look" I said hoping that I was convincing.

" Yeah, you don't want people to think you just swooped in and stole Jake right from under Bella ,do you? " that's kind of what happened isn't it." Plus you should be the only attention whore at your wedding" Leah finished off nodding.

Alexis finally gave up and decided that maybe it was for the best. She gave us both short awkward hugs and went on her way, but not before telling us that she doesn't care what anyone thinks and that we were family.

'' Can you believe the nerve of that chick, was she serious'' Leah exclaimed as soon as the door was closed.

'' Yeah she was'' I still couldn't believe it myself, but thanks to my vampire memory I can replay that hott mess over and over again.

Later on that night, there was a loud howl in woods not to far from the cabin and it could only mean one thing, vampire. Leah and I rushed out to see what was going on.

Nothing and no one, could prepare me for what was about to happen.

It was the smell, it was sweet and spicy. Like warm coconuts and rum, and something else, something male.

I was aroused; I haven't been aroused in a long, long, long time. I haven't had sex or been touched or wanted to be touched or even touched myself in a long time.

But the smell, that smell. I had to have it, I would kill for it. What the hell was it?

When Leah and I reached the border by the Cullen property .Embry was laying passed out on a destroyed tree and Seth was in human form on the forest floor, with an angry snarling vampire with his foot on Seth's chest.

The vampire was blond, with dark eyes. He smelled like heaven. He had scars on his arms and one visible on his neck. His jeans were denim and low on his narrow hips and he wore a grey thermal shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and a fucking fedora low on his face.

I wanted him.

I couldn't fucking think.

His growling was malicious and sexy as fuck.

I couldn't fucking move, I was having a vampgasm.

'' Hey asshole, get the fuck off my brother'' Leah shouted, that sentence finally pulled me from my internal ramblings.

'' Great'' he drawled '' So you're the owner of these dogs''. The vampire he took a deep breath and starts to laugh. Real sinister like."Oh no, your just a bitch''.He said

Leah started to growl and before I could grab her, she phased and attacked the vampire, my vampire. She knocked him off of Seth and he turned ready for the fight.

I pushed my shield out, so no one would get hurt. I love Leah and Seth, but for some reason. I couldn't let anything happen to him. The vampire crouched, arms out, legs spread and leaped towards Leah. He hit my shield and was tossed back; he landed a few feet away from me.

'' What the fuck'' he said looking even more pissed off than before. It was then that he looked at me, his eyes went wide with surprise.'' Bel-Bella'' he whispered.

Recognition dawned on me. I knew this vampire already.

'' Jasper".

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A/N - Here's the re edited chapter. Thank you everyone who's been following the story.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, I'm just using them and thinking about licking Jasper…hehehe.

Chapter 4

Bella

"Jasper" I gasped, the shock was evident in my voice. This was unbelievable, what did I do in my former life to deserve this type of shit.

I just stared at him, unable to move. Again.

Jasper was looking at me. Not moving, not blinking, not breathing…..he was just still, like a statue .Staring into my face, like I was a god damn science project. Like he did when I was human. It was agonizing and uncomfortable. It made me feel like shit. And as if he knew what I was feeling, he became alive, moving closer to me. My name was but a murmur off his lips. A soft repetition being said over and over again.

"BellaBellaBella"he whispered. He moved his hand to my cheek. I should have leaned away, but I couldn't, my feet were still nailed to the ground. No words came from my lips and the outside world did not exist beyond me and Jasper. His fingers traced my jaw, my lips, and every outline on my face.

"Ahem….Ahem" Leah bluntly interrupted our moment. Slapping Jasper's hand away from me and standing in front of my body like a shield.

"Would you mind, keeping for filthy fucking hands off my sister you fucking parasite" she shouted maliciously, giving him a hard look.

Begrudgingly he took a step back, but I could tell he really didn't want to.

"Your….sister? I don't remember Bella being related to any of you mutts" he said matching her fierce look with one of his own.

"It's new, our parents are married, not that its any business of yours Cullen" she yelled.

Moving closer to him, ready to attack. They were circling each other and the boys whom had finally gotten their bearings, where prepared to jump in.

Leah jerked forward, hurdling towards Jasper phasing and Seth on her heels. Jasper tossed Leah away like she nothing. Seth lashed on the Jasper leg, while Embry went for his shoulder. I was all happening so fast.

"Stop it" I said, but my voice was weak and broke at the end." STOP IT" I shouted stronger this time moving to separated all them and trying to push Jasper aside. He had a good grip of Embry's neck and my hands were shaking, while trying to pry his fingers away. He was different, not like the Jasper I knew or the one I saw 3 minutes and 16 second ago. No this guy was a killer.

After finally getting Embry away, I stood in front of him .Putting my shield around my family and pushing Jasper out .He was still growling and snarling. His body was crouched on an angle awaiting the fight.

"Hey douchebag, don't you know this is private property and not only are you trespassing, but your breaking the treaty" I hissed at him. I seems my anger, pulled him from his vampire instinct and he started that straighten up with understanding written on his face.

"They broke the treaty first and destroyed my house, filthy dogs' he snapped. Leah barked out a laugh and phased back to human.

"Victoria destroyed your house, we watched." She stated boldly, amused at the expression on his face.

"Victoria…She did that?" he said, clearly astonished.

"Yes, she did…we did." I muttered out quietly. He glanced at me. "She is less than pleased with your family and wanted revenge for the killing of her mate….I broke some window and destro….demolished your brother's room…I….I was angry. She was …..enraged …and crazy" I screeched out.

" More like demented" Seth bellowed.

" A fucking lunatic" Leah chimed in." We have pictures" she nodded smiling, most likely replaying the events of that day. It was absolutely hilarious.

"So you helped her, why would you do that? Edward was always talking about how mature you were. Guess he was wrong." Jasper said smugly. Shaking his head in disgust.

"Fuck you asshole and your stupid fucking bitch of a brother…he didn't know shit and still doesn't know shit about me or my maturity. He can kiss my ass and so can you .You think you can just ….stroll on over here ,hurt my family and talk shit, huh mother fucker" I shouted in his fucking face. I didn't give a fuck how sexy he was, there was no way in hell he was going to talk down to me. Ever.

"Guess he also didn't know about that foul mouth you got there…..oh yes, real mature" his sarcasm was not lost on me .What was also not lost on me was the wave of lust that hit my shield. He liked my foul mouth, oh yes he did.

"Shut the fuck up, Jasper. I'm a grown woman that does as she pleases. I don't answer to anyone, period." I exclaimed challenging him.

"You don't think that what you did to my house was childish? "He stated, taking a frustrated step towards me, but unable to move any closer because of the shield.

"No, I don't…. I told you what I did. Which was nothing compared to what Victoria did" Shit, when did I become a fucking snitch. I've never dropped a dime in my life. Jasper's heated stare has turned me into a fucking idiot.

"Who's paying for the damage" he said, irritated by the whole thing.

Leah and I looked at each other and took a step back. I wasn't paying for only money I had was what Charlie gave me when he sold the house in Forks and the money I had saved for college, even though I didn't go and I was not about to fix Cullen fucking that!

"You better go find Victoria" Leah said with an attitude she usually saves for Emily. Which, meant she couldn't stand that sight of him anymore. I however could ogle for day's .Eyes black, back tense, Shoulders square, lips curved. Jasper was hott when he was mad. God I really want to fuck him.

"Yeah well, she's not here and you all are. So you're going to fix it. God, Bella ….you can't just go around breaking peoples things or property because your mad" He was distressed and pacing back and forth, trying to get a hold of his anger.

"Yeah well you guys, can't just go around, telling humans there family and making them love you, only to turn around and take it all back. I'm nobody's fucking pet, your lucky we didn't do worse." I said shaking; Leah grabbed my hand, holding it steady.

"What are you talking about?" he hissed.

"You know, what I'm talking about, don't make me say it" a growl escaped my chest, that I didn't mean to. Leah held my hand tighter.

Jasper stopped pacing; he looked up at me with apologetic eyes.

"Look, Bella, if this is about us leaving….we….Edward thought it was best. He didn't want your human life to be in danger" he looked me up and down." However, seeing that you are one off us, he obviously made a mistake….." He hesitated for a moment. Looking me in the eye, before continuing "Vampirism Looks good on you…" he stated, taking a breath and moving the fedora to sit a little higher on his head.

"I didn't- "he started

"I'm not "I said at the same time. Letting out a nervous laugh.

"Go ahead" he said, rubbing that back of his neck.

"I'm not mad… well ….not anymore, its just I was kinda hurt about the whole thing. Its not everyday that your told that your… nothing…so I had some anger to work out, but I'm better, I'm over it" I mumbled out and looked up at him. I expected to see pity, but what I did see was fury. Jasper was outraged.

"He said that to you" Jasper asked. I nodded. Where was this rage coming from? I thought they didn't give a fuck about me.

"He is such a fucking liar, Bella. We didn't even want to leave. We love you, Always" I gaze at him. his eyes were soft and dimed. Gone was the black. His eyes were a beautiful burnt gold .He turned away from me, picked up a black duffle bag and continue toward the treaty line.

"Hey, where are you going" I shouted after him.

"I don't know…It seems I have no where to live" he yelled back

"Are you leaving? " I shriek out and ran after him. He can't leave; I had to make him stay. The thought alone was enough to kill me.

"Yes, No….. "He stopped walking and stood still. Probably analyzing what he should do." I was just passing through, I wanted some time to myself, but I knew I had to come here and I didn't now why" he gaze down at me." But now I do".

"So… your staying" I said, my voice was shaky and I hope he didn't notice.

"Of course I'm staying, I wouldn't leave you. After all you are my mate" he stated with confidence. What the fuck. He looked down at me with an expression of tenderness.

"Your mate? " I whispered "How is that possible…."

"Who cares, it just is…. I've been waiting for you for along time." He declared in a strong voice. He meant every word. But had a hurt look on his face because of my lack of understanding. Am I an asshole for not realizing this? I mean, I wanted him. I wanted to protect him. I wanted to fuck him, but who wouldn't the man is absolutely delectable.

He is my mate. Jasper is my mate. I dropped my shield so he could feel my acceptance. Was vampire mating, like imprinting? I felt the pull towards him way before I saw his face or knew who he was. He smiled down at me and grabbed hold of my hand.

"Thank you" he positioned my hand at his lips and gave each finger a soft kiss.

"Bella, what the fuck, get away from him" Leah bellowed. Ruining another moment. God if she doesn't shut the fuck up. I am going to punch her in her fucking face.

"Leah, go home" I hissed.

"No way am I leaving you with him…What are you doing. He's a fucking Cullen. He's gonna do what his bitch brother did" she shouted, as if I was an idiot.

"No he won't, He's mine" I looked in his eyes and he nodded his head agreeing with me." You're mine right!"

"Yes I am" and then he kissed me.

That's chapter 4. I hope you guy's like it. Reviews are appreciated. Leave some!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, I own nothing.

Chapter 5

Bella

His lips were soft and oh so smooth .His tongue swept out his mouth and licked my bottom lip. I parted them, to give him entrance. His taste was a delicacy I wanted to devour.

His hands moved to my hips bringing me closer to him. My hands rapped around his neck. Somewhere in the background I could still her Leah stomping her feet in dislike and frowning upon me.

I didn't care; I didn't care about any of it.

Because I had Jasper.

Jasper is mine.

When a loud groan except his lips, I dislocated myself from our entanglement. Jasper's hands still stayed on my hips.

"Why don't you come and stay with me" I suggested, hoping that he wouldn't say no.

He smirked down at me. "Whatever you want darling" He drawled seductively. With the sexiest southern accent, I've ever heard.

"You want him to stay with us. Are you kidding me" Leah uttered with disgust. Seth and Embry, waved their good bye and slowly backed away to continue with their patrol.

"Isn't he the one that messes with emotions? He could be fucking with you" she yelled. Jasper stiffened next to me.

"I can't touch her emotions, I'm being blocked and I would never do that to Bella" He declared.

"You can't "I asked, the only person I ever used my shield against was Victoria and I really wasn't sure about the mechanics of it.

"No, there some kind of force field around you, but when you let me in before….." I nodded my head waiting for him to continue" It surrounded me as well, I felt like we were in a bubble of some sort".

"Huh, that makes sense" I said, looking into his eyes. Leah snorted.

"Le-Le, please don't be like this, why don't you take Jasper bag back to the house and we'll talk about this later."

"Do I look like the fucking bell boy…I'm not taking his shit any where…urgh."She grunted and took off. I turned to Jasper." Don't worry about her, she'll get over it".

"She hate's me" he stated simply.

"She hates everyone….." I breathe out. I noticed that we were finally alone. I had so many questions. "How about we go take your bag back to the cabin and go out for a hunt…so we can talk?'' His scent was drawing me in and I need to try and distract myself from not ripping his clothes off. By the look on his face I'm sure he felt the same.

After dropping off his bag, we headed out. Holding hands and running further north when we picked up the scent of a herd of moose. I took down two quickly and perched by a tree as I waited for Jasper. He snapped the neck of the moose and drank deeply .When he was done; he disposed of the carcass and came to sit next to me. Watching him hunt has just become my favorite thing. I was so turned on and was sure he could smell the aroma of my arousal. His eyes were dark and his look was full of lust.

His hands started to move up my thighs, that I was trying to squeeze together. I quickly grabbed his hand and interlaced them with mine, to stop him form any further exploration of my body.

"Jasper as much as I want to continue with that, we really need to talk" I said in a heavy breath. His essence was making me flustered and I honestly wanted to rip his clothes off and save the conversation later.

"Of course, Bella, I didn't mean to be so forward with you" he said regretfully.

"No it's not that, I like that, I just….." was wondering about your wife. Is he still married, where was Alice." Wanted to know ….about ….Alice" his face fell.

"Oh right….Alice; you don't need to worry about her. That's over; it's been over for a long time. Even before we met you" he stated frankly.

"I don't understand. You were married to her" I was confused. Should I be worried that she going to come take him from me.

"Not really….I mean Carlisle, officiated a commitment ceremony for us…decades ago. But that was it." I shook my head." Bella do you know how we met? Alice and I" I nodded.

"She told me, you met in a diner. That she had seen you in a vision and was looking for you" he slumped down; bring his hand around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest.

"Alice has no memory of her human life. When she woke up a vampire, that is when her life began. Her first vision was of me and she set out to find me. I …was not in the best place in my life I was depressed and…. lonely. I needed something different from what I came from." He took a deep breath and I held his hand urging him to continue.

He told me about his maker and his human years that he remembered. That he was the youngest Major in his army unit .That his sire Maria was always recruiting newborns to fight for areas of land and feeding property in the south. He grew close to man that he had sired, his name is Peter, he fell in love with a newborn and he helped them escape. A few years down the road Peter and his mate Charlotte came back for him. To show him that their was a better way to live that doesn't include war.

"So I left with them, we stayed together for a few years…but there was still something missing and I didn't know what it was …but I knew I wouldn't find it with I took of on my own and that's when I met Alice…she had already started feeding on animals and taught me how and she explained to me that we were going to be part of a family…during our journey to find them …she had a vision of us…falling in love and living happily together…..I never questioned it. I believed her at the time."

"What do you mean….you believed her at time? What made you change your mind" I asked.

"The Cullen's" he stated. "Rose and Emmett especially, they are a mated couple. Their love is unconditional…it can't be moved. With my ability I could feel that what Alice and I felt for each other….wasn't even a tenth of what they had......"

"But you stayed with her "

"Yes, it was comfortable….she was my best friend. At the time, we were both adjusting to our new life. We leaned on each other. I did love her, dearly…." He strolled off at the end.

"But" I chimed in.

"But I wasn't in love with her. She was a good companion, we cared for each other. I thought we would grow to ….be in love. But we didn't, because she was not my true mate. I tried so many times…to explain it to her, but she was stubborn, she didn't care. She still wanted us to be together….even though it was not fulfilling" he said sadly.

"You wanted to make her happy…didn't you? " I questioned.

"More than anything" he sighed. "I wanted to give her what ever she wanted, because of what she did for me…I felt like I owed it to her, But then we moved here. And you and Edward fell in love" my body stilled at the mention of his name. Jasper tightened his hold on me for so I could relax. "You two were just another couple to show me that what I had with Alice …was…was…nothing besides friendship and I didn't want to live like that anymore." I rubbed his arms to soothe him. Obviously talking about this was bothering him.

"So what happened next" I asked quietly.

"I almost ate you" he laughed." And Edward forced us to leave and never see you again. After we moved. I went to talk to her, but of course, she had a vision and refused to see me. After she calmed down, she tried to tell me I was wrong and that I wasn't patient enough. She said she loved me more than anything…..but she didn't. I could feel it, so I moved out of our room and into the guest room. She wouldn't talk to me, but when she did. It was a ploy to get me back." He was agitated and tense, while speaking of this.

"Alice didn't want to understand. Her denial was crippling me. It pushed me….so far that I wanted to leave them and when I decided that I would….she was always there to stop me…excuse, after excuse and after they stop working on me. She told me I needed to be there for Edward." He said solemnly.

"Why would you need to be there for Edward" I cringed at the name, it still didn't sit well with me.

"He was not doing well after we left you. He fell into a deep depression, his misery and sorrow would drive me out of the house for days at a time" I was shocked to her this." One day while trying to escape his sadness. I just kept running and didn't go back"

"Edward told me, he didn't love me, that he no longer wanted me. That I was a distraction, he said he didn't want to pretend to be human anymore and that I was nothing, that the family was leaving and I was not welcome. So to hear that he was depressed about leaving….is." I couldn't even finish.

"He lied; he loved you, he still does. If he were here, he would tell you that and beg for you to take him back". Ewwww, that's not gonna happen . last thing I want is Edward (pussy) Cullen back. "He believed that we were a danger to you. Everyone loved and cared for you very much. When we left Alice was devastated, we tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen…..but I guess it wasn't for the best" he gave me a somber look. I received that look… a lot, when Victoria changed me. Jacob gave me that look….I hated that fucking look.

I rolled my eyes and cast a sharp glance in his direction.

"No it wasn't and stop… looking at me like that. I was heart broken when you all left me. But I moved forward with my life. My relationship with Edward was…..a power struggle. He treated me like a child and wanted to make all my decisions for me …instead of with me. We were not equal and he would have never changed me….I now that know, because Edward hated himself and what he was ….more than he loved me, but I'm fine and happy, just as I am." I said confidently.

"I know, I can feel that…..and you're different" I turned to look at him with an additude."Stop, I didn't mean it in a bad way…it's good. Your stronger, emotionally, more sure of yourself. Less like the little girl Edward brought home. You're not that girl anymore. You're more…and your mine "he laughed."If Edward ever heard that filthy little mouth of ours, he would be so disappointed" he finished with a chuckle.

"Fuck Edward, who gives a shit what he thinks. My filthy mouth is not his concern" I felt a wave of lust hit me and Jasper pushed my hair to the side and licked my neck. I shuddered and leaned into his chest. His lips grazed my neck, my cheek and as I craned to the side, his lips latched on to mine. I turned my body and straddled his waist.

"Mmmm" he moaned. "Ah ...shit darlin' …..We need to stop" he gasped.

"I don't want to stop" I said grinding into him and kissing his neck.

"You still haven't told me, who changed you" he said in a breathy whisper.

"Victoria" I whispered back. His body stilled and he gave me a pained expression. I continued. "At first, she wanted to kill me…for revenge, for James. Then she saw me. I was a mess; she felt that it was what I deserved. She wanted me miserable, like she was, but then I got happy again….I fell in love again……with Jacob" Jasper growled, I put my hand on his chest to stop him. "I had a new family and was cared for, by the pack. She hated that I was able to move on….so she came back to torment me. This went on for months. She wanted me to suffer…but it wasn't enough, so she turned me in hopes that the pack would eradicate me…..and" Jasper cut me off.

"I'll kill her" he yelled and nudged me off his lap. He began pacing, taking angry strides, fucking projecting his anger that I didn't want to feel.

"Jasper stop…" I said pulling him to sit down with me.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm going to find and kill. You'll never have to worry about her again" he stated with his chest heaving in and out.

"I went after her, a little while after my change she came here, stalking me. We fought and tried to kill each other. It wasn't productive; we came to an agreement to leave each other alone. I'm not worried about her, Jasper. She was grieving, still is. I've never meant anyone as sad as Victoria….she…well fuck, she's bat shit crazy. But I can't help but feel for the girl" I said feeling a little off, thinking about Victoria's turmoil at the loss of her mate. Would I end up like her if I lost Jasper? The thought alone, sent my emotions into a distress.

Jasper pulled me into a tight embrace, sending me calm affection, happiness and love.

"You'll never have to feel that kind of pain with me Bella. I'm yours for eternity, if you'll have me"

"Of course I want you, I'll never let you go Jasper" I said sincerely and I will dismember any bitch that tries to come between us.

We left the woods and headed back to the cabin hand in hand to start our new life together.

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Snarky remarks by Leah coming up next chapter….dum..dum dummm.


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